The Invisible Challenge

What if you have far more control over your happiness, health, productivity, relationships and success than you have ever imagined?

Most people don’t believe they do, and I certainly understand why.

Life is busy. Stress can feel unavoidable. There never seems to be enough time to do everything that needs to be done, much less make time for the people, habits and experiences that matter most.

And even when you know exactly what you should be doing, you still find yourself putting it off, making excuses or allowing that pesky inner roommate in your head to talk you out of doing the very things you know would make your life better.

That can be incredibly frustrating because, in most cases, the problem isn’t that you don’t know what to do.

You already know you should be more present with the people you love. You already know you should move more, sleep better, eat healthier, manage your stress and stop allowing technology to consume so much of your time and attention. You probably also know you should worry less about what other people think and be far more intentional about how you spend your days. You know this to be true, so then tell me…

Why is it so difficult to consistently do the things you already know will make your life better?

Most people blame a lack of time, discipline, motivation or willpower.

I can assure you they are almost never the culprits, and the answer runs much deeper.

The Invisible Challenge is the answer. Write this down because you’ll want to remember it forever.

The Invisible Challenge has everything to do with your identity, and it is quietly impacting almost every area of your life.

Most people are living an identity they never intentionally created.

Let that sink in for a moment.

Most people move through life with an identity that has been shaped by successes and failures, fears and insecurities, relationships, childhood experiences, career experiences and the expectations and opinions of other people. Little by little, those experiences create a picture of who they believe they are, what they think they are capable of and the kind of life they believe they deserve…or don’t deserve.

That picture matters far more than most people realize because human beings naturally think, speak and act in ways that are consistent with who they believe they are.

That is why identity is the strongest controlling force in your life.

It influences the choices you make and the choices you avoid. It influences the standards you accept, the promises you keep, the excuses you tolerate, the way you respond when life gets difficult and the way you show up in your most important relationships. Whether you see yourself as someone who follows through, someone who can be counted on, someone who takes care of their health, someone who leads with confidence or someone who always seems to be trying to get back on track, your identity is quietly influencing those outcomes every single day.

While you can’t control everything that happens to you, you have far more influence over the person who responds to what happens than you may have ever realized. And that brings us to the second part of the Invisible Challenge.

Everyone has an identity. Most don’t know how to define it!

No one escapes their identity.

If you are a human being living on this planet, you have one. In fact, you have two.

The first is your internal identity, or your self image. It is the picture you carry in your own mind about who you are.

The second is your external identity, or your reputation. It is the picture other people carry in their minds based on how they consistently experience you.

Together, those two things make up what I call The Brand Called YOU.

And here's what makes the Invisible Challenge even more difficult. Most people aren't intentionally living the wrong identity. They simply don't know how to intentionally create the one they truly desire.

The Brand Called YOU is a simple process designed to help people intentionally define the identity they truly want by first creating the RULES they want to live by.

They know they want to be happier, healthier, more productive or a better spouse, parent, leader or friend, but they have never stopped to intentionally answer a much deeper question:

Who do I want to become?

I've spent more than twenty-five years helping people answer that question because I've come to believe it may be the single most important question you'll ever ask yourself.

Allow me to explain.

When I was a young boy, my mom, Carol Lederman, passed away from breast cancer. Before she died, she left me a letter that would eventually shape the way I see life and become the foundation of my work.

As I reflected on her words over the years, they sparked an idea that has guided me ever since.

Life is a game, and if you want to optimize your health, happiness and success, you need a Game Plan.

Think about any game you have ever played. Whether it is football, golf, Monopoly, pickleball or chess, every game has RULES. Those RULES help you understand how the game is played, what matters most, how success is measured and ultimately give you the best opportunity to win.

Yet, when it comes to the most important game you will ever play, the Game of Life, most people have never intentionally decided what their RULES are.

In fact, most people spend more time planning a vacation, a home renovation or a weekend away than they ever spend planning the person they want to become.

That is where your RULES come in.

Your RULES are not society’s standards, your company’s standards or a list of predictable values you chose during an exercise and forgot about a week later.

Your RULES are YOUR Standard.

They are the ideas, beliefs, behaviors and habits that define how you choose to play the Game of Life.

They describe what matters most to you, what you expect from yourself and what people should consistently experience when they interact with you.

When you consistently play by your RULES, you shape and ultimately earn the identity you desire, and that’s what it takes to bring The Brand Called YOU to life!

A RULE might be about being present, protecting your health, speaking the truth, putting people first, living courageously or refusing to allow fear to make your decisions.

But the words themselves are not what change you.

The behaviors and habits beneath those words are what shape your identity in your own mind and in the minds of others.

It is easy to say family matters. It is much harder to consistently put the phone down, listen without interrupting, make time when life gets busy and be fully present when the people you love need you.

It is easy to say health matters. It is much harder to build the routines around movement, nutrition, rest and recovery that prove it.

It is easy to say integrity matters. It is much harder to tell the truth, own a mistake, apologize and do the right thing when there is a personal price to pay.

That is what it means to play by your RULES.

Not someone else’s standard. YOUR Standard.

You are what you repeatedly do. That’s the evidence!

Every time you choose to think, speak and act in ways that are consistent with your RULES, you strengthen your self image because you are providing yourself with evidence that you are becoming the person you said you wanted to be. At the very same time, you strengthen your reputation because the people around you begin experiencing that same person with greater consistency.

That is how identity is earned.

Not through wishful thinking. Not through writing down a few aspirational words. Not through declaring that tomorrow will somehow be different.

Identity is earned one decision, one conversation, one habit and one day at a time.

Eventually something remarkable begins to happen.

You stop trying to become that person because, through the evidence of your daily actions, you begin realizing you already are.

This is why I believe you have far more control over your life than you may realize.

You can’t control everything that happens around you. But you can intentionally decide who you want to be when it does.

The good news is that your future identity has not been written yet.

Starting today, you can begin intentionally defining the person you want to become instead of allowing your circumstances, your fears and the expectations of other people to continue defining it for you.

To help you get started, I'd like to give you the first three steps of The Brand Called YOU Exercise from my workbook. It's the same exercise I've used with thousands of people to help them intentionally define the identity they want to live by, first by creating the RULES that become THEIR Standard for playing the Game of Life.

 My hope is that it serves as the beginning of a journey toward intentionally defining the identity you want to live and the life you want to create.

Then, later this year, I'll introduce the complete Brand Called YOU Masterclass, where I'll guide participants through the entire process of defining their RULES, hardwiring them into their daily lives and intentionally shaping and earning the identity they desire.

Until then, don't wait. Start intentionally defining your identity today.

Because life is a game that you, me and everyone we know is playing.

The people who experience the greatest happiness, health and success don't leave that game to chance. They have a Game Plan. They know their RULES. And they intentionally play by them every single day.

Do that consistently, and you'll overcome the Invisible Challenge as you shape and earn the identity you desire.

Live Your Brand NOW,

Gregg